Tales From A Woman's Prison

              " One Moment To Midnight "           by Charlotte Murphy

Everyone really does hate me.  It's because I threw my 6 month old baby out a four story window. I was mad at my baby's daddy for cheating on me, for leaving me to raise our baby by myself. He didn't take care of our baby, but I knew he really loved 
his son.

When we fought that night, I lost my mind and wanted to hurt him beyond repair.
So when he slapped me, I walked over to the crib, picked up the baby and tossed him out the window. We heard that terrible sound when he hit the sidewalk.

I'll never forget that sound. I hear it every night. Every night for the past 17 years. No need trying to describe it, there are no words.

As for what happened next, I'm not sure. I remember the police showing up, handcuffing me and taking me out of the apartment building. I heard my boyfriend crying real hard and I remember thinking, "Good! He got what he deserved!"

I had to walk past the very spot where my baby landed. They had removed his little body already, but the blood stain was still there. A small stain where his head busted on impact.

Yeah, I looked at that stain, but I didn't feel anything in particular. I didn't feel anything when the Judge sentenced me to Life in prison. He said it would be a dark day in hell if I ever got released.

Being in prison is bad enough, but being in prison for killing a baby, really sucks! These bitches want to kill me! I've already been beaten up twice. My front teeth knocked out, concussion, broken ribs. One bitch kicked me so hard that my bowels broke and I shit all over myself. I don't care. I didn't feel a thing.

I just do what I have to do; work in the main kitchen scrubbing floors, go back to my room, read, take classes in the evening and wait.

Wait until I'm so sleepy that I can't keep my eyes open anymore. Wait for 'it' to happen.  

THUMP! 

There it is, right on time; That terrible sound of my baby hitting the side walk. Of his head busting.

As usual I look at the clock. It's always the same, exact time as when it happened; One Moment To Midnight.