" Misunderstanding "                                              by Crystal Banks                                                            

In the early 90's I lived in South Carolina for a year. For a couple months I hung out at a white lesbian bar simply because it was the only all lesbian bar around. All the other places were for gay men or a mixed crowd.

Everything was ok, until one night. A blond came in and took a liking to me. She wasn't my type though. I prefer feminine lesbians like myself; she was more butch. Despite not being compatiable on one level, I was always open to making new friends. That same night, I met a white, gay guy in there also. He had the same last name as the car; Honda.

The three of us decided to go to the large gay night club where a couple hundred people danced the night away. We had a ball.

My new blond friend got drunk and turned violent. Not against us, but against everyone in general. It was funny. She turned over a couple of tables, backed up to give herself more room and was ready to throw down. Since she didn't get any takers, she invited everyone to kiss her ass! 


Me and Honda danced and pretended not to know her. During the course of the night, Honda told me he wanted to meet a black man. There were plenty of black men in the club, but he wanted a more masculine black guy.

We had all come in my mini van. When it was time to leave, my blonde friend didn't want a ride back to her truck at the other club.  She was still bent on fighting and to prove it she cussed out everyone in the parking lot.

After dropping Honda off, I felt bad and went back to see how she was doing. A cab was pulling up and she was getting in. I decided to follow and make sure she got to her truck safely. Once there, I couldn't let her drive drunk, so I suggested we get something to eat. To my surprise, she agreed.

There was an all night eatery that catered to college students and crowds leaving clubs after 2 am. We ate, while she told me her life story. She was an alcoholic and this was her last hurray before checking into rehab in 2 days.

Then she looked up at me and said, " Hey you're black. "

I turned to a white guy near us and told him what she said. He replied,
"That was mighty 'white' of her!"

Everyone within ear shot fell out laughing. When she was sober enough, I took her back to her truck and went home. I was exhausted.

In the meantime, I considered Honda's request for a black man. He was a nice guy and had showed me a good time, so I didn't mind looking out for him. I called a friend and told him about Honda. He was game to meet him. This guy was handsome, muscular and nice. Honda would not be disappointed.

My friend and I got together to plan the surprise. I called Honda and told him to meet me at the club. I said I had a special gift and he was the only man I wanted to give it to. He seemed put off by that rather than curious like I thought he would be.

I had an odd flute from Mexico that I'd give Honda, he'd blow it and my friend would come around the corner to surprise him! Pretty cool, huh? Well it didn't happen that way at all. Honda never showed up at the club. I called and left a message but didn't get a response. 

The next day I left a message thinking we 'd meet up that night and still surprise him. Didn't happen.

I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack so it took me a moment to get why Honda was avoiding me. He had gotten the wrong impression. When I said he was the only man I wanted to give a special gift, he must have thought I meant me! Yes people in the gay community do flip, but I wasn't a flipper. I was just trying to pull off a nice surprise. 

I called again, leaving a message, saying I thought he got the wrong impression and  I wanted to explain what I meant by 'the special gift'. If he'd just call me, he'd see that it was a good thing, not what he thought. Honda had a room mate and since I didn't know what their situation was, I couldn't leave the whole story on his answering machine.

No response. Honda never called me back. I just let it go. I never got a chance to straighten out the misunderstanding.